Relationships today

Have u ever thought how rare happy relationships are today? Opportunities for singles are getting more and more every day- clubs, dating sites, communication gets easier, people get more tolerant, there are no prejudices and moral as there were before, looks like people have all of the necessary conditions to find and chose their partner and to build a successful relationship. But walking on the street, talking to friends, reading in forums we can see our expectations are in vain. Why?

- - Work too much. Have u noticed that many of your young, educated colleagues from work and university are sill single, but the cleaning lady is married and has children, like your hair stylist and the bus driver, is it coincidence? We are too busy developing our career, improving ourselves- language courses, extra computer skills, gym, yoga, reading news and useful researches. Money we make gives us freedom to enjoy expensive hobbies and traveling, that tale the little spare time we have. The more successful we get our requirements for our partners grow.

- Too many requirements! People always overestimate themselves. Don’t trust me? Ok, go the ugliest girl you know and ask her if she thinks she‘s ugly. Then go to the cleaning lady and ask her if she’s stupid, she’ll tell u it was bad luck she didn’t get better job, not because she’s just not good enough for something better. So, no matter how things look everyone thinks he deserves more than he gets. And in case we have so many opportunities to meet Mr./Miss Perfect why should we waste our time with someone who “doesn’t deserve me”.

- Incapable of compromises! Life is full of options for everything- from education and career to the color of our hair and eyes. So when something doesn’t work for us, we just take another one.

- Selfish! No one will admit he/she is selfish, but before you say it, think twice! When was the last time you tried to walk into the other’s shoes? How many times when you have arguments you try to imagine what would you do if you were the other one in that situation? You know what you want, but have you ever thought how much you can give to the other one? You want happiness, but are you sure you can make someone happy?

- Too busy! So much work has to be done, so many hobbies and entertainments that doesn’t take as much as relationship does. You have friends and co-workers to talk to and they have the same interests as you do. You can have sex everywhere today with a good looking girl/boy. Why should you waste your time listening to his/her problems, spending time with his/her friends, sharing his/her interests?

- Afraid to take risks! We are trying to make the world more secure place to live in. We try to plan everything and have as many insurances as possible. We hate taking risks and let in something there’s no rules. Relationship is taking the risk to be hurt, betrayed and abandon. He/she might get into our life and break our heart, why should give him/her that chance? Unfortunately we see so many relationships fall apart, families get divorced… may be we have a reason to be afraid.

- It costs money. Money and feelings has nothing in common, yes and Santa Claus will bring you a nice present for Christmas! Just think how much your best friends make? What a coincidence, not much more and less than you do! Why don’t you have friends who are beggars? Or are some of your friends shopping in Milan, skiing in Switzerland, takes his girlfriend/boyfriend to date in Paris? It’s not because of the money, it’s just because you wouldn’t have anything in common… hmm looks like money mean much more then people dare to admit. So just think how much a relationship costs- flowers, dinners, birthday presents, Christmas presents, if you sum all that for a year you can buy a car for that much, does it worth?

- Afraid of responsibilities! Even I find my soul mate, we love each other, we feel happy, what then? We are supposed to take the next steps? Engagement, marriage, family, children- mother in law, dippers, chores? I have to be there when he/she is sick, mad, in bad mood, to share her/his failures. No more hanging out with friends, going to vacation without her/him, you have to discuss with her/him all of your decisions. Who wants to change his independence with obligations?

Looks like contemporary life is too complicated for relationships. May be we think more than we feel, we feel afraid more than we believe, the more we get, the less we risk. Will love become a fable? It’s all on us, we have many chances in our lives and if we find ourselves unhappy some day, will we be able to say: “I did my best”?