I have no idea what marriage and divorce are, so don't feel what she says, but I think I understand most of it.
How do I feel about marriage? Well... when I was a young schoolgirl I was afraid of the idea that some day I would have to find a job and work whole day long every day from Monday to Friday. In the same time I felt enchanted by the stylish business ladies walking around on their high heels like they rule the world with their skills. I hoped to become one of them some day. I guess in my mind marriage is something like that... I'm afraid to take responsibilities, but I crave for happiness.
Here are some quotes from the book:
"I'd learned enough from life's experience to understand that destiny's interventions can sometimes be read as invitation for us to address and even surmount our biggest fears."
"It had always been my experience in the past that the more I learned about something, the less it frightened me. Some fears can be vanquished, Rumpelstitltskin-like, only by uncovering their hidden, secret names."
"The problem, simply put, is that we cannot choose everything simultaneously. So we live in danger of becoming paralyzed by indecision, terrified that every choice might be the wrong choice."
"Marriage becomes hard work once you have poured the entirety of you life's expectation for happiness in the hands of one mere person. Keeping that going is hard work."
"The only thing marriage has ever done, historically and definitionally speaking, is to change. Marriage in the Western world changes with every century, adjusting itself constantly around new social standards and new notions of fairness. The "Silly Putty-like" malleability of the institution, in fact, is the only reason we still have the thing at all. Marriage survives, in other words, precisely because it evolves."
"As a friend's grandfather once put it, 'Sometimes life is too hard to be alone, and sometimes life is too good to be alone.'"
"Maybe the only difference between first marriage and second marriage is that the second time at least you know you are gambling."
"Infatuation is not quite the same thing as love; it's more like love's shady second cousin who's always borrowing money and can't hold down a job."
"I mean, once the initial madness of desire has passed and we are faced with each other as dimwitted mortal fools, how is it that any of us find the ability to love and forgive each other at all, much less enduringly?"
"There is hardly a more gracious gift that we can offer somebody than to accept them fully, to love them almost despite themselves."
"Money brings its own problems, of course - but money also brings options. Money can buy child care, a separate bathroom, a vacation, the freedom from arguments over bills - all sorts of things that help stabilize a marriage."
"Marriage is not prayer. That's why you have to do it in front of others. It's a paradox, but marriage actually reconciles a lot of paradoxes: freedom with commitment, strength with subordination, wisdom with utter nincompoopery, etc. And... you have to hold your wedding guests to their end of the deal. They have to help you with your marriage; they have to support you if you falter."
"It had always been my experience in the past that the more I learned about something, the less it frightened me. Some fears can be vanquished, Rumpelstitltskin-like, only by uncovering their hidden, secret names."
"The problem, simply put, is that we cannot choose everything simultaneously. So we live in danger of becoming paralyzed by indecision, terrified that every choice might be the wrong choice."
"Marriage becomes hard work once you have poured the entirety of you life's expectation for happiness in the hands of one mere person. Keeping that going is hard work."
"The only thing marriage has ever done, historically and definitionally speaking, is to change. Marriage in the Western world changes with every century, adjusting itself constantly around new social standards and new notions of fairness. The "Silly Putty-like" malleability of the institution, in fact, is the only reason we still have the thing at all. Marriage survives, in other words, precisely because it evolves."
"As a friend's grandfather once put it, 'Sometimes life is too hard to be alone, and sometimes life is too good to be alone.'"
"Maybe the only difference between first marriage and second marriage is that the second time at least you know you are gambling."
"Infatuation is not quite the same thing as love; it's more like love's shady second cousin who's always borrowing money and can't hold down a job."
"I mean, once the initial madness of desire has passed and we are faced with each other as dimwitted mortal fools, how is it that any of us find the ability to love and forgive each other at all, much less enduringly?"
"There is hardly a more gracious gift that we can offer somebody than to accept them fully, to love them almost despite themselves."
"Money brings its own problems, of course - but money also brings options. Money can buy child care, a separate bathroom, a vacation, the freedom from arguments over bills - all sorts of things that help stabilize a marriage."
"Marriage is not prayer. That's why you have to do it in front of others. It's a paradox, but marriage actually reconciles a lot of paradoxes: freedom with commitment, strength with subordination, wisdom with utter nincompoopery, etc. And... you have to hold your wedding guests to their end of the deal. They have to help you with your marriage; they have to support you if you falter."
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