If you have to ask, you don’t want to know?

“If you have to ask, you don’t want to know”, it’s a quote I like a lot because I believed it was completely true. Well, I still believe it’s true, but not completely.

If someone has good news for you it’s natural for him to make you happy by telling the news to you. If you don’t hear good news most likely there is nothing good to be told. But every rule has its exceptions. There was something I wanted to know very much, something I was thinking about for a long time. Our lives are so connected to the people we’re surrounded by that sometimes we need to know something about these people in order to be able to make right decisions. I set up my mind not to get disappointed if I got a negative result, there were no expectations, just a question like “What’s the weather like today?”. If I was told it was a bad weather I would just accept it… but honestly I had reasons to believe it would be warm and sunny.

I got an answer that made me happy! So happy that I forgot I had to ask for it or may be I felt a little sorry I didn’t ask earlier. So I learned a new lesson- rules make a good guide, but sometimes I must dare to look behind its limits. And when it comes to love, we make the rules!

What's Love? How To Keep It Alive?

I found a long article for a healthy relationship tips:

http://www.affirmations-for-success.com/relationship-tips-1.html

Don't ask why I was looking for it... let's say that if someone wants to keep something valuable in his life, s/he has to put efforts. If you don't want to fail, find and fix the problem before it's too late!

Here are the points I find most useful:

1. Start Over
When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the other person does. However, after time, the nagging starts, instead of hearing, "You look beautiful," they might hear "Why are you wearing that shirt?" If this sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need to sit down and be honest that things have changed. Identify the things each other did in the beginning of the relationship that created the attraction in the first place. Then together, make a commitment to start over. The truth is, both of you will have to work on this. It will not automatically be easy but it is possible. Start by forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation. Focus only on the special things your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant things aside. It will take some time so be patient.

2. The Power Of Touch
When a child is ill, doctors will tell you that it is proven that a simple, loving touch of a parent can quickly pull the child through a crisis. It is the same for relationships. Playing with your mate's hair, rubbing their hand, a soft kiss on the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving a gentle back rub will make a huge difference in how your mate responds to you.

3. Needed Space
As important as it is to spend quality time together, it is equally important to give each other time to do something they like.

4. Filler Talk
If you are married, especially with children, break out of the habit of talking about nothing. Many times, families will be sitting around the dinner table and the conversation consists of, "Do you like your carrots?", or "I wonder what is on TV tonight?" Instead, change your strategy to include real questions, showing real interest. Replace the normal, "Did you have a good day at work?" with "Tell me what you did at work today." Even if you do not understand everything being said, listen with interest. It is not that you are so much interested in the work, but your mate's life.

5. Communicate
When couples are having problems in a relationship, communication is the first thing to stop. It is often easier to just be quiet than to get mad. When rebuilding relationships, just as communication was the first to stop, it now needs to be the first to start. This will require that both individuals let down their guard and pretty much throw caution to the wind. Healing in the relationship cannot start until you talk. Make an agreement that you will talk about anything and everything and that you will listen, really listen. That does not mean that you will agree with everything, which is perfectly fine. However, if you do not agree, do not yell, rather, the two of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together, work out a solution. This is hard work but within a very short time, you will both feel much better, individually and as a couple.

6. A Night Of Passion
Intimacy and passion in relationships is not only important but also healthy. Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. When relationships are troubled, the last thing either person wants is to be sexual or passionate with each other. However, this is a part of the healing and rebuilding of the relationship and although it might be awkward in the beginning, it is crucial. Make your intimate time together special. Intimacy is a huge part of a successful relationship. Choose a book from the bookstore and try to bring a little excitement into your relationship. Do not be afraid to experiment and learn new and exciting ways to please each other. Keeping intimacy alive is healthy and not a bad thing whatsoever!

7. Just Because
Give your mate gifts "just because." These do not have to be expensive whatsoever. For example, one woman had a miniature dish collection in her kitchen. Her husband came home and told her that he had a gift for her. Holding out her hand, he gently placed in her hand a miniature porcelain cup with her name neatly written in blue ink. She knew that this cup probably cost no more than $2.00 but the thought that he would take the time to find something she enjoyed, was worth $1 million. The small gifts packed with thought are far more cherished.

8. Cuddle Time
When couples first start dating, cuddling is usually a part of their everyday existence. However, as the relationship progresses or after children enter the picture, the cuddling stops. Take some time just to cuddle. If your mate is sitting on the couch watching a movie, or laying in bed reading, scoot close and tell them that you just want to cuddle. This makes both people feel secure and loved.

9.Make The Men Feel GoodFlirt with him in public places

• Just once, leave the toilet lid up
• Lavish him with compliments
• Tell him how sexy he is
• Act jealous once in awhile, even if you are not
• Remind him that he is a wonderful mate, husband, father, whichever applies
• Tell him how handsome you find him

Make The Women Feel Good

• Compliment her on her many skills (be specific)
• Tell her how much she means to you
• Let her know that she is your best friend
• Show affectionate to her in front of family and friends
• Let her know that you find her to be sexy
• Tell her how beautiful she is

10. Be Kind To One Another
Unbelievably, kindness is often over simplified. Even good relationships can lack acts of kindness. This refers to "Do unto others…" Simple acts of kindness can have huge impacts on a relationship. If your husband or boyfriend is out working on the car on a hot summer day, make a thermos of ice-cold tea and take it to him, giving him a gentle kiss. If your wife or girlfriend has been working at the computer all day, walk up behind her and massage her shoulders and neck. You get the idea. Kindness means looking at the other person's situation and seeing what you can do or add to that situation to make it better or easier. This is a way to validate your respect for each other. Kindness will go a long way in a relationship.

11. Special Hobby
Find some type of hobby that you both enjoy and then do it together. It might be that you both love refurnishing furniture.

12. Be A Kid
Do not be a prude. There is absolutely no reason why couples at any age cannot get into tickling matches or wrestle on the floor. Do not allow your relationship to grow old and stale. Understand and accept that it is perfectly fine to be silly from time to time.

13. Love Means Having to Say You Are Sorry
If you make a mistake by doing or saying something that is hurtful or damaging to the relationship, say that you are sorry. Many people struggle with these words, even when they know that what they did was wrong. It actually takes a strong person to apologize. Do not wait until you think you have the courage but say it immediately, and with sincerity. Too often when couples argue, there is a long period of silence, which actually makes the anger and tension worse. You need to let your mate know immediately that you made a mistake and ask for forgiveness.

14. Do Not Repeat, Do Not Repeat, Do Not Repeat
Learn from your mistakes. When something goes wrong and the two of you work through it, do not repeat the same mistake. Rather than dive right back into whatever it was you did or said, think before you act. At first, this will take some discipline but as you see positive results in the relationship, be encouraged that it is working.

15. Control Your Anger
Every relationship has difficulties, and sometimes, there can be some intense arguments. For the sake of your relationship and the love you have for your mate, keep your anger in check. First, when people are angry, hurtful words fly, usually not even meant. However, after spoken, it is too late to take them back - the damage is done.

16. No Jealousy Allowed
To have a healthy relationship, caring and concern are fine but when those emotions change into jealousy, this could be the beginning of trouble. Trust is probably the number one element needed in order to have a strong relationship. Without trust, things will quickly deteriorate. If one of you masters something special, receives a promotion at work, or achieves some great feat, there could be a small spark of jealousy on the other person's side. You need to talk about this and ensure that any feelings of inadequacies are permanently put to rest. Every person needs assurance at some time or another and as long as you can communicate, things will be fine. However, if your mate becomes withdrawn or irritated, these could be signs that more is going on. Once jealousy enters a relationship, problems are soon to follow.

17. Motivate Each Other
Find a mutual incentive that will motivate both of you to being the best you can be. Find something that you can both be excited about and then attach some type of reward to the motivation. If one of you has had a dream of writing a screenplay, make that your goal and take that on together. The motivation is that when finished, the two of you will take a beautiful, romantic weekend vacation to some exotic place. The goal could be anything that is important to one person or both and that can be worked toward completion together.

18. Learn More about Your Mate
Either find a good questionnaire or create one that does not dig up the past, but focuses on discovering other qualities about each other

19. No Place for Abuse
Regardless of how much you love your mate and believe in who they are, there is NEVER an appropriate time for abuse, whether physical, emotional, or verbal.

20. Open Your Eyes
Do not drive yourself crazy with this, but take notice of how your relationship is going. Open your eyes and take stock of what is and is not working in your relationship. Are there definite things missing or definite problem areas that need to be worked on? Think about it. If you invest in the stock market, you pay attention to what is going on so you can make changes if needed. Your relationship is far more than the stock market but requires some of the same strategies.

21. The Grass is NOT Greener!
Too many times, people get tired of working on the relationship they are currently in and feel that by moving on to another person, they will find greener pastures. This is just not the case. What happens is when you move to another person, things are fresh, new, and exciting just as they were in the beginning of your current relationship. Within time, that relationship will also start experiencing differences and bumps in the road. Unless you are being abused or your mate is doing something illegal or completely irresponsible, perhaps the efforts you would put into starting a new relationship would be better spent fixing the one you have.

22. Be Flexible
Remember that relationships are give and take situations, not competition between two people who love each other. There will be times when your mate is right and times when you are right. When you feel the conversation getting a little on the edgy side with each of you trying to hold ground, do not forget that there can be many ways to accomplish the same task. The result is that each of you might learn something new from the other person. Put your heads together and do what makes the most sense instead of battling for ownership of the solution.

The Beginning of 2011

I started the new year with a little vacation. There was no plan, just one week for relax only- nice food, walks, shopping, movies, meeting friends... I'm so sorry the vacation is over, but it's time to get more serious and think about the new year in a more constructive way.

Did I mention the great late Christmas gifts I received?

In Japan: Christmas for Non-Christians

Christmas in Japan is quite different from the Chrismas celebrated in most countries in which the population has a large percentage of Christians or a Christian heritage. Only 1/2 of 1% of the Japanese population is estimated to be Christian, with the majority of Japanese being tolerant of all faiths: Buddhism, Christianity, Shinto, etc. In spite of this, the Japanese are great lovers of festivals and celebrations, including Christmas.

December 25th is not a national holiday in Japan, although December 23rd, which is the birthdate of the present emperor, is. Although it is not an official holiday the Japanese tend to celebrate Christmas, especially in a commercial way. The Japanese celebrate Christmas Eve by eating a 'Christmas Cake' which the father of the family purchases on his way home from work (or his wife does in the case where he has to work on Christmas Eve). Stores all over carry versions of this Christmas cake and drop the price of it drastically on December 25th in order to sell everything out by the 26th. This has resulted in a rather interesting expression in which young girls are referred to as a 'Christmas cakes': marriageable until their 25th birthday and requiring heavy discounts to get married after their 25th birthdays.

In recent years, thanks to the marketing prowess of the folks at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Christmas Chicken Dinner has become quite popular. Many Japanese even make reservations for their "Christmas Chicken" ahead of time. People line up at their outlets to pick up their orders. As a result of KFC's brilliant advertising campaign, most Japanese now believe that Westerners celebrate Christmas with a chicken dinner instead of the more common ham or turkey.

Christmas Eve has been hyped by the T.V. media as being a time for romantic miracles. It is seen as a time to be spent with one's boyfriend or girlfriend in a romantic setting, so fancy restaurants and hotels are often booked solid at this time. It is often also a time when girls get to reveal their affections to boys and vice versa. Because of this, extending a girl an invitation to be together on Christmas Eve has very deep, romantic implications.

Christmas presents are exchanged between people with romantic commitments as well as close friends. The presents tend to be 'cute' presents and often include Teddy Bears, flowers, scarves, rings and other jewelry. Christmas cards are also given to close friends.

Christmas presents tend to be things which are cute and sometimes slightly expensive because of the relationship to the person to which they are given to. More obligatory year-end presents are given during this season as well to people who have done you a favor during the year, however, in contrast to Christmas presents, they are given between companies, to bosses, to teachers, and family friends. These presents are known as 'Oseibo' and are generally things which are perishable or which wear out quickly for which the price can readily be checked because of the system of 'on' and 'giri' (loosely translated obligation and reciprocity). These presents are usually purchased at department stores so that the recipient can check the price and return something which relates to the scale of reciprocity.

For the more elderly couples, many hotels host dinner shows featuring major singers, actors, and actresses. Tickets to these shows, due to the season, are very pricy.

The Christmas season comes during the month of the year-end parties. Company groups, hobby groups, sports groups, etc. often book a section of a restaurant to have drinking parties, known as 'bonenkai' [forget the old year parties]. This phenomena leads to streets, subways, and trains full of people in varied states of intoxication during this season.

Christmas lighting and displays are often up at the end of October and this year many stores have displays featuring Teddy Bears. There is also a trend developing for make-it-yourself presents.

The New Year's holidays, which constitute the main holiday season for the Japanese, come closer to the American-European idea of assembling family and friends. Christmas seems to be closer to the Western concept of St.Valentine's Day.

Original article: http://www.tanutech.com/japan/jxmas.html

Christmas Mistakes

It's Christmas time, people are cheerful and all they think about is celebrating. But there are some small mistakes, we must make sure we avoid, if we want the holidays to be bright for us:

1. Make accurate calculations how much money you can spend for presents. You don't want to find out that you're out of money before you buy presents for everyone?

2. Don't copy wishes from internet. It may be boring to write wishes on the cards for everyone, but better write down something simple, but sincere than something obviously copied.

3. Don't send too personal messages to your colleagues you don't know very well. Your boss may be single, but wishing her/him to find a boyfriend/girlfriend is not the best thing you can do.

4. Don't drink too much. Drinks may make you say things you don't mean and arguments can easily occur.

5. Don't discuss how much presents cost. What matters is how happy they make the one who receives them and that's all. Don't compare or discuss anything about it.

6. Don't send e-mails, text messages to ex boyfriends/girlfriends. They may think you're looking for a way to make up.

7. Don't send cards to people who are not Christians. Don't forget it's a religious holiday.

Aries Yearly 2011 Horoscopes: The Ram Is Ready for Action

2011 is shaping up to be a very exciting year for Aries. Things have been in a holding pattern for the past few years as Aries struggled on many levels. Although the Aries continued to show forward movement, Aries 2011 yearly horoscope shows the opportunity for much of that effort to finally pay off. A strong year for career and income, Aries 2011 will bring positive movement internally. Of course, ying and yang requires Aries to work a little harder on some of the areas that have gone out of balance, but this will be a challenge the Aries 2011 yearly horoscope sees Aries facing down without a problem.

Career and Income

Aries, don’t start spending yet but 2011 is looking like an excellent year for cash flow. You have done the time, get ready for the dime! Many of your projects, ideas and career moves are going to gel in 2011. This may mean it’s time for a huge promotion, a career jump or even the advancement of a business idea or concept. Step up to the plate and get ready to swing, because when it comes to career and cash, Aries 2011 is your year. The majority of your power will come in the earlier part of the year, so go for the gold immediately. Looking at the Aries 2011 yearly horoscope, it’s safe to say here’s no reason to hesitate when everything that comes out of your mouth sounds like a brilliant idea.

Love, Family and Social life

Sometimes, success in one area means a little more work in another. The Aries 2011 yearly horoscope shows that familial and intiate relationships are going to be strained in the early part of the year, Aries. In fact, they could spin out of control. Be ready to manage even the smallest situation that comes up with family or a loved one. Ignoring a small warning sign could result in major issues down the road. If you want harmony in 2011, be ready to talk out problems. Commit to a willingness to work through issues that come up, don’t just pull the rip cord like you sometimes to. The Aries 2011 yearly horoscope shows that there’s a realistic possibility that any type of dramatic action in the early part of the year could lead to the end of a relationship that, up to now, has been going well.

Education and Traveling

With 2011 flourishing, Aries will not want to take the time to do something as leveling as take a vacation. Work, work and more work will be the name of the game. In terms of learning, this will be divine as Aries will be eager to gobble up any and all information that can help things to keep going so well. But Aries, force yourself to slow down sometime in June or July. You cannot keep a crazy pace forever. Better allow yourself to rest so you can finish off 2011 with the same vitality you started with.

Health

The Aries 2011 yearly horoscope shows that things look great for Aries in terms of health. Take advantage of this state to build your body, heart and mind even more. Eat right, get plenty of exercise and enough sleep. This is the year to try out that new sport you were thinking of or to take a little time for yourself and work out aggression at the gym. Find a way to channel all that energy to care for your body as well and 2011 should see you in good shape.



Source: http://www.horoscopes-love.eu/aries-2011-horoscope.php

Holly Christmas!

Christmas is time for the family, to feel the warmth at home and thank God for everything we have. There's nothing as precious as the family and let we all remember it not only on Christmas, but for the whole year!
I sent my best wishes to all of my family and friends and I made a small Christmas wish for my self. And I promise not to forget to appreciate the most important thing in my life- the people I love! I promise not to let the small problems to affect me, I promise to think twice before I get mad, I promise not to forget my loved ones I love and appreciate them, I promise to make everything I can for them!
Christmas is time when we remember that only heart can see the real things!

Christmas - that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance - a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.
Augusta E. Rundel

Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
Oren Arnold

Stories with Morals

One of the British noblemen had left behind a big castle which contained priceless paintings. The public could come and see them from time to time. One day a group of people were moving through the large rooms and admiring the paintings as they went. One elderly woman never spoke a word but would repeatedly go close to each picture and examine it very carefully. After the visit, someone asked her what she thought of it all. "It was perfect," she said with enthusiasm. "I could not find a speck of dust anywhere.

" How often we miss the beauties of life because we are so intent on looking for faults.

# # # # #

A farmer had a cluster of beautiful bamboo trees. One day he stood before the tallest one and said, "My friend, I need you." "Sir," said the bamboo, "Use me in any way you wish, I am ready." Then the gardener's voice became serious and he said, "In order to use you, I've got to split you in half." Then the bamboo reacted, "Split me" Oh, no... I'm the nicest bamboo in this garden. Use me in any way you wish, but please don't split me in half." "Well," said the gardener, "if I can't split you, I can't use you." The bamboo went silent. Then it bowed its head and said, "Okay. If the only way you can use me, is by splitting me, go ahead." "But that's not all," said the gardener. "I am going to have to cut off all your branches." "That will be the end of my beauty," the bamboo said. "But - if that's the only way I can be of use - cut me down altogether." So the farmer cut down the bamboo, removed its branches and split it down the middle. After hollowing out its insides, he brought it to a spring of water. It became a pipe to bring water to the gardens and make them fertile and fruitful.

It gave its life to help other lives. Everyday right around us people are giving their lives that we might live... Take our parents, our teachers, ...

# # # # #

A rich man complained to his friend: "People don't like me. They say I'm selfish and stingy. And yet in my last will and testament I have donated all that I own to charitable cause." His friend said: "Well, maybe the story of the cow and the pig has a lesson for you.""The pig came to the cow and complained: 'People always talk about your friendliness. I know you are friendly, you do give them milk. But they get much, much more from me. They get ham and bacon and lard and they even cook my feet. And yet - no one likes me. To all of them I am just a pig, a hog. Why is that?' The cow thought it over a bit and then said: 'Perhaps it's because I give while I am still alive!'"

# # # # #

Centuries ago in the country of Greece there was a young athlete who had so distinguished himself in the public games that his fellow citizens raised a statue in his honor, to keep fresh the memory of his victories. This statue so excited the envy of another athlete who had been defeated in the races, that one night he went out under cover of darkness with the intention of destroying that statue and knocking it to pieces. First he tried and tried to tip over the statue. He tugged and pulled and shoved... and after an hour it moved just a little bit. This encouraged him and he gave one mighty push and the statue fell -- on top of him, and killed him.

Envy always harms the one who is guilty of it. Did it ever occur to you that when you envy somebody or you are jealous of somebody, that this does not hurt that person in any way... He or she does not feel it at all... It only hurts you: it eats your insides out... So, you see, that it is a useless, self-destructive exercise. As Ben Sirach says in the Old Testament "Envy and anger shorten one's life." [Sir. 30:24]

Pain for God's Sake

Thaipusam is a Hindu festival celebrated mostly by the Tamil community.

Devotees prepare for the celebration by cleansing themselves through prayer and fasting. Kavadi-bearers have to perform elaborate ceremonies at the time of assuming the kavadi and at the time of offering it to Murugan. The kavadi-bearer observes celibacy and take only pure, Satvik food, once a day, while continuously thinking of God.

On the day of the festival, devotees will shave their heads and undertake a pilgrimage along a set route while engaging in various acts of devotion, notably carrying various types of kavadi (burdens). At its simplest this may entail carrying a pot of milk, but mortification of the flesh by piercing the skin, tongue or cheeks with vel skewers is also common.

The simplest kavadi is a semicircular decorated canopy supported by a wooden rod that is carried on the shoulders, to the temple. In addition, some have a small spear through their tongue, or a spear through the cheeks. The spear pierced through his tongue or cheeks reminds him constantly of Lord Murugan. It also prevents him from speaking and gives great power of endurance. Other types of kavadi involve hooks stuck into the back and either pulled by another walking behind or being hung from a decorated bullock cart or more recently a tractor, with the point of incisions of the hooks varying the level of pain. The greater the pain the more god-earned merit.

source: Wikipedia

What will prevent a guy from hitting on you?

It happens to everyone- man or a woman to attract the attention of someone they don't want to. It can happen at work, in the gym, in the favorite caffee, bar, restaurant, in the public transport. What are the right signals that should be sent in such a situation to make him realize you're not interested?

- Don't wear too sexy clothes when you expect to meet him. Especially if you work close to him.
- When you seem him, pretend to be very busy with something- talking on the hone, texing a message, looking for something in your purse.
-Don't keep eye contacts with them.
-When they ask you something, avoid making a conversation. Keep your answers short to 'yes' and 'no' and ask them if they need anything else. Make an excuse and leave as soon as possible.
- Never speak about you, don't tell him the area you live, if you are having a bad day, ect. He is looking for a reason to make a conversation and to get closer, don't give him any.
- Wear a heart shaped jewel, that will clearly show that you are not single
- In cease you have to contact him, for example if you have a common work to do, never give him your personal number. Ask for his number/e-mail and don't give him a chance to bother you.
- If non of above works, just tell them you have a boyfriend and you're not interested in him.

4 Types of Men Girls Meet Before They Grow Up

1. First Love.

Every girl remembers the fist time she fell in love. Most of the times he never got to know, but she will never forget him.

2. The Player
Teenage girls frequently fall in love with so called players. Boys who make impression better than anything else.

3. Undiscovered Genius
The ones who believed they would change the world. Musicians, artists, gang leaders or just dreamers who believed they were born to do something great. Most likely no one understood them.

4. The Protector

Elder man who was always there to help with his advise or money. He was charming with his success, but most likely with his ability to spoil the girls.