Confessions- What I did and what I didn't do before I get 25

I'll be 25 next week and I was thinking of things I did so far and things I didn't do. I'm not proud of everything in the list below, but people learn from their experience, right?
Although I don't think the list looks that bad.
What I did:

1. Saw the Pyramids in Egypt

2. Graduated University

3. Made my hair silly colors

4. Changed jobs in completely different area

5. Getting drunk without thinking of consequences

6. Dating Bad boys

7. Having sex at the first date

8. Had naked pictures

9. Smoked weed

10. Cheated in school

11. Cheated on men

12. Had sex at unusual places

13. Had foreign boyfriend

14. Won a beauty contest

15. Man wrote a poem for me

16. Visited fortune teller

17. Fell in love from a first sight

What I didn't do:

1. Got driving license

2. Lived with a man

3. Lived out of my parents’ home for longer than a month.

4. Extreme sports

5. Lived in another city

6. Made a man the first and only priority in my life

7. Got into fight

8. Had sex with man from different race

9. Had sex with a girl

10. Was topples at the beach

11. Had drugs other than tried weed.

12. Got pregnant

13. Got really fat

14. Had sex with man I didn’t like at first

15. Dated men younger more than year than me and older more than 9.

16. Bought a condom

17. Learned cooking

18. Hitchhiking

19. Bought very expensive shoes/jewels/purse I couldn’t afford

20. End friendship because of a man

21. Got my heart broken

22. A man never hit me

23. Made tattoo

24. Had a broken bone or surgery

25. Dated married man

26. Had a vibrator

The sequence doesn't matter. I guess I'll add many more things, those are the ones I remember so far.

The meaning of symbols and words in a relationship

What are symbols of love? Flowers can be a symbol of love. A song, a gift, or a piece of jewelry can be symbolic of love. A verbal commitment is a symbol. Early on a verbal commitment or a phone call might be symbolic of interest. When the relationship is more serious we might consider promises and verbal commitments as symbolic of emotion.

In the search for genuine love it is helpful if we don’t get confused and attached to symbols. Love is an emotion and is not measurable. But we so often attempt to give our own meaning and measurements to love. We look at what people do and interpret how much they love us or not. If someone says they love us we use those words as evidence. If they go out of their way and turn down an outing with their friends we might consider that symbolic of love. We may know how we feel about them, but can’t tell how someone feels about us. We are not used to perceiving emotion directly so we look for symbols to indicate how someone feels about us. We substitute our own meaning about symbols instead of experience the genuine emotion of love.

Difficulties of communication in love relationships

When we are in love we can not convey the emotion because love is silent. We are accustomed to communicating in words but there are no words to convey emotions. We use our words to tell people about our emotions or give symbols in their place. Our words are symbols that the other person can interpret and understand how we feel. The emotion of love is formless and so we rely on words as a code for communication.

Flowers, chocolate, jewelry, and cards are wonderful symbolic ways to communicate our emotion. But these symbols don’t prove the authenticity of love. These gifts can just as easily be given because of guilt or shame for having done something to make up for. In this case the size of the gift might be a measurement of a person’s guilt and self judgment instead of their love. They are looking for forgiveness which will release them from their self judgment. It is easy to misinterpret what the gift symbolizes because it is not always possible to see into the emotions and thought process of the giver. Our interpretation of their motivation may be different than what is inspiring them.

Companies and advertisers are eager to tell us what the symbols of love mean. We see in holiday commercials examples of men shopping for a gift to give their wife or girlfriend. They are searching for the right symbol of love to give. The jewelry company is selling symbols and they tell the viewer what their jewelry means. They even have recommendations about how much of your salary you should spend on the symbols they merchandise. Is the man buying a piece of jewelry because he is inspired by love, or because he is afraid of how the woman will interpret the size of his symbol? We are so conditioned to respond to symbols that a woman might react emotionally if she doesn’t’ get the symbol she wants. The emotional reaction isn’t really about the symbol. She is really reacting to her own interpretation of the symbol. Not getting a symbol when it is expected on particular holidays may cause a person to react to their own interpretations and expectations. If our partner forgets to do something that they promised it doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t’ love and appreciate us. If we apply that meaning to their actions we do it on our own.

An engagement ring is a symbol of love. It is not the emotion itself. But how often have there been discussions about the size and quality of the diamond and what it signifies? Does a bigger diamond demonstrate that more love is coming out of someone’s heart? Does a smaller diamond mean that there is less admiration and love for you? No. If someone brings us 4 roses, do we wonder what they are trying to say? We may have a clear understanding in our mind what a dozen roses mean, but what do 4 roses mean? In our use of symbols we often interpret that more symbols means that the person has more love for us. More and bigger symbols don’t mean that there is any more emotion.

Symbols can turn into our illusions of love that lead to emotional heartbreak.

Giving symbols of love can be a way for a person to hook our attention and get what they want from us. We become attracted to that person because we value the symbols they give us. A compliment is an easy symbol for someone to give that gets our attention. We give them more attention because we enjoy compliments. If someone makes promises to us of a beautiful future we can create a whole dream in our mind of what our life will be like with them. We can fall in love with the dream we have in our imagination that is inspired by their words. In this case it is our own love being expressed for that dream we feel. Whenever we hear or think of those words or that person we feel the emotion for that dream in our mind. The symbol can be a trigger for a powerful emotional dream that we store in our memory. The word “wedding” is a symbol that we can use to build a huge dream in our mind. We can then invest a lot of meaning and emotion in that dream, and that can become a very powerful force in our lives. Sometimes dreams can be so powerful it is as if they rule us. We can become so focused on the symbol that we lose track of the emotion in the relationship.

Sometimes people become focused on the importance of symbols that they feel without love when they do not have enough symbols. They need their partner to continually provide them with symbols to keep their dream going. We become conditioned to measure how much a person loves us by how big and often they give us the tangible symbols of their love. They have to tell us with words or show us with actions that symbolize their love. But this leaves us feeling empty because symbols do not satisfy our emotional yearning. It is the emotion of love that will satisfy our search, not a symbolic representation.

Sometimes we have such a need for symbols of love that we try to satisfy the need ourselves. We go shopping and buy our self gifts and use the reason that, “I am worth it,” or “I bought this because I love myself too much to pass it up.” We use an object as a trigger for our self love. If we really experienced the emotion of love for ourselves we wouldn't’t need a symbol as a reminder. The emotion of love for ourselves is completely satisfying all by itself. When we really love ourselves there is no need to convince ourselves or anyone else what we feel emotionally.

To make sure you understand someone ask questions for clarification

Misunderstandings between men and women do not happen because they are from different planets like Mars or Venus. Misunderstandings and reactions often happen because men and women interpret symbols of love differently. The different genders have been reading different magazines and learning different meanings for the coded symbols. Boys grew up mostly spending time with boys and learned a code of how to communicate with other males. Women grew up mostly around other women and they learned a different code used to communicate with women.

It is all in English, but two people can interpret the symbols completely differently even if the same words are used. Even different women have different interpretations for the same symbol. Everyone has their own meaning for each word symbol. This can sometimes be difficult to sort out because we only have the words to explain ourselves. Even though we explain ourselves plainly in words, the other person may have a different interpretation of what those words mean. To really understand someone we have to ask questions about what they mean.

When a man says to a woman after a date, “I’ll call you later” he is speaking very plain and simple English, but what he meant and what she understood could be two completely different things. The man “knows” what he means and the woman “knows” something else. This misunderstanding can be the source of emotional drama, and this is with four simple words. We misinterpret because we assume that another person has the same meaning for words that we have, but they don’t.

Until you learn the meaning of the words that someone uses, there are going to be miscommunications and misunderstandings. They will also have to learn the meaning and emotional attachments that you have for words.

Understanding in relationship begins with Self Awareness

Before you can explain your coded meanings for words and symbols to someone, you will first have to be aware of them yourself. This means being aware of what your symbols mean, how you interpret them, and the emotional attachments you have given to images and dreams in your mind. When you are aware of your own coded symbols, you can communicate more clearly with another. Clear communication will raise the quality of understanding, respect, and clarity in your relationships. This will allow the real emotion of love to grow, and make your relationship less dependent upon symbols. When you have awareness, you know that a symbol cannot convey what you feel; and when your love no longer relies upon the exchange of symbols, it is beginning to flower into the most beautiful expression of human caring: unconditional love.

The original Link to the article:

http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/relationship_symbols.htm

White shoes and a bag- Welcome Spring!

Here's the result of the shopping today. I love them!

Here I am wearing my new babies and my new jump suit :)

Can't let you get the best of me

Why Women Leave Men

"I hurt all the time because I feel alone and abandoned."

"My husband is no longer my friend."

"The only time he pays attention to me is when he wants sex."

"He is never there for me when I need him the most."

"When he hurts my feelings he doesn't apologize."

"He lives his life as if we weren't married; he rarely considers me."

"We're like ships passing in the night, he goes his way and I go mine."

"My husband has become a stranger to me, I don't even know who he is anymore."

"He doesn't show any interest in me or what I do."

Women tend to be more concerned about their marriages than men. They buy most of the books on marriage to try to improve them and initiate most marriage counseling. They often complain about their marriages to their closest friends and sometimes to anyone who will listen. And they also file for divorce twice as often as men.

Why do women seem so dissatisfied with marriage? What do they want from their husbands? What bothers them so much about marriage that most are willing to risk their families' future to escape it?

Why do women leave men?

Each day I am confronted by women who are extremely frustrated with their marriages. They usually express no hope that their husbands will ever understand what it is that frustrates them, let alone change enough to solve the problem. From their perspective, marital problems are created by their husbands who do little or nothing to solve them. Wives tend to see themselves as the major force for resolving conflicts, and when they give up their effort, the marriage is usually over.

When I talk to their husbands, they usually have a very different explanation as to why their wives feel the way they do. They often feel that the expectations of women in general, and their wives in particular, have grown completely out of reach. These men, who feel that they've made a gigantic effort to be caring and sensitive to their wives, get no credit whatsoever for their sizeable contribution to the family. They feel under enormous pressure to improve their financial support, improve the way they raise their children, and improve the way they treat their wives. Many men I see are emotionally exhausted and feel that for all their effort, they get nothing but criticism.

The simpler role of husbands in decades past has now been replaced by a much more complex and confusing role, especially in their relationship with their wives. Some conclude that women are born to complain and men must ignore it to survive. Others feel that women have come to expect so much of men that they are impossible to please, so there's no point in even trying. Very few men, these days, feel that they have learned to become the husbands that their wives have wanted, and the job seems to be getting more and more difficult.

Grounds for Divorce

Men's perceived failure to satisfy their wives is punctuated by the fact that women file for divorce twice as often as men. In other words, their unhappiness with marriage often results in divorce.

The most common reason women give for leaving their husbands is "mental cruelty." When legal grounds for divorce are stated, about half report they have been emotionally abused. But the mental cruelty they describe is rarely the result of their husband's efforts to drive them crazy. It is usually husbands being indifferent, failing to communicate and demonstrating other forms of neglect.

Another reason for divorce reported almost as much as mental cruelty is "neglect" itself. These include both emotional abandonment and physical abandonment. Husbands that work away from the home, sometimes leaving their wives alone for weeks at a time, fall into this category.

When all forms of spousal neglect are grouped together, we find that it is far ahead of all the other reasons combined that women leave men. Surprisingly few women divorce because of physical abuse, infidelity, alcoholism, criminal behavior, fraud, or other serious grounds. In fact, I find myself bewildered by women in serious physical danger refusing to leave men that threaten their safety.

Simply stated, women leave men when they are neglected. Neglect accounts for almost all of the reasons women leave and divorce men.

I have little trouble convincing most men that verbal and physical abuse are legitimate reasons for their wives to leave. And there has been increasing social pressure on men lately to avoid hurting their wives physically and verbally, which makes my job even easier.

But neglect is a much tougher sell, and it is also much more difficult to overcome than abuse. While it is the most important reason women leave men, it is hard to convince men that it is a legitimate reason, something they should avoid at all costs.

Some of the common complaints I hear from women is, "He ignores me except when he wants sex, he sits and watches television when he could be talking to me, he rarely calls me to see how I'm doing, he hurts my feelings and then never apologizes: Instead, he tells me I'm too sensitive."

Most husbands are mystified by these complaints. They feel that their wives demand too much, and that most other women would be ecstatic if married to them. Their wives have become spoiled, take their efforts for granted and have unrealistic expectations.

Do women expect too much of their husbands or are men doing less for their wives than they should? I've proven to husbands over and over again that their wives usually do not expect too much of them, and when they understand and respond to their wives' frustration, the complaining ends and a terrific marriage begins.

What's more, their wives are not expecting more effort from them. Instead, they expect efforts in a different direction. It isn't more difficult to please women these days, it simply requires a change in the priority of effort.

What are women looking for in men? They want a soul mate, someone they trust who is there for them when they have a problem, who takes their feelings into account when decisions are being made. Someone to whom they feel emotionally connected.

Original link: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8111_leave.html

Birth control pills- Side Effects and Complications

Hormonal Birth Control Side Effects

Individuals with certain medical conditions such as a history of liver tumors or liver disease, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, breast cancer, reproductive cancer, or blood clotting may not be prescribed certain birth control methods. Some of the side effects that are otherwise commonly experienced as a result of oestrogen and progesterone birth control use include:

• Nausea, vomiting, constipation, or bloating
• Irregular menstruation and spotting
• Breast swelling or tenderness
• Decreased libido
• Weight gain or loss of appetite
• Mood swings, anxiety, nervousness or depression
• Changes in vaginal discharge and vaginal infections
• Headaches, dizziness and fatigue
• High blood pressure and cholesterol
• Acne or permanent discolouration of the face
• Fluid retention
• Bone density loss
• Hair loss or changes in hair growth
• Enlarged ovarian follicles

Birth Control Risks and Complications

The potential link between oral contraceptives and breast cancer is not yet understood, and further research is required in order to determine this connection. However, there are some risks and long-term complications associated with the use of hormonal birth control methods. These include the following birth control risks:

• Eye problems or vision impairment
• Gallbladder disease and gallstones
• Embolism
• Resistance to Insulin
• Immune system suppression
• Heart attack
• Stroke
• Breast tumors and liver tumors
• Ectopic Pregnancies
• Links with certain cancers such as cervical cancer
• Blood clots in legs, lungs, heart and brain
• Jaundice

Jumpsuits

I love jumpsuits. Those are the ones I have.... in the one of them I see my favorite red shoes, that I'm looking for now. This weekend I bought a new jumpsuit, but I still don't have a picture of it.

This one I bought last summer:

I have one like this, but mine is white.

Here I'm in my jeans jumpsuit Here I'm dancing in jumpsuit again.

I want red shoes

I'm looking for classic red shoes and I can't find anywhere! Last week I spent six hours shopping, there's no shop downtown I missed and... no red shoes for me! I can't take this idea out of my mind...

Happiness Is ... Making More Money Than the Next Guy

One key to happiness might be whether you make more than your peers, regardless of whether that income is six figures or just a mediocre take-home, a new study finds.

This concept of "doing better than the Joneses" is well established among children: A toy gets ditched as soon as a shinier toy in the hands of another child is spotted. But some researchers have often thought that when it comes to adults and money, things works differently, in that the more money one has, regardless of how it stacks up, the more resources can be acquired to generate happiness.

However, the new study suggests income and happiness are indeed like child's play.

We tend to be happy "as long as we've got more than the people around us," said study researcher Christopher Boyce in the Department of Psychology at the University of Warwick in England. "You might buy a new car. But if your neighbor has just bought the very same car, that new car doesn't seem as good as it once was if you were the only one to have that car."

I make more than you do...

Past research has suggested that income rank, not just absolute income, is important, but previous large-scale studies looked only at satisfaction with economic conditions rather than overall life satisfaction, the researchers say.

Boyce and his colleagues used data collected between 1997 and 2004 in the British Household Panel Survey, in which more than 80,000 participants rated how dissatisfied or satisfied they were with their life overall. Household incomes were adjusted for regional differences in living costs and for number of individuals in a household. The resulting figure represented the amount of spending power a person would have.

Then, they took the ranked position of each person's income within the entire sample in a given year and compared it with the individual's absolute income. Statistical tests were run to determine how that rank predicated a person's life satisfaction. While a person's life satisfaction went up with higher absolute pay, when ranked income was taken into account, the absolute numbers were no longer linked to happiness levels.

Then the researchers grouped participants and compared their income with various reference groups, including geographical region, gender and education, and age, as people might do in real life. In each case, incomes were ranked relative to that particular reference group. Again, a person's life satisfaction was mostly explained by income rank within each peer group.

They also found that people are 1.75 times more likely to compare themselves to those above them in income than to those below.

That makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, because it would behoove someone to gather information about the higher-ups in order to improve oneself to ultimately get there, Boyce explained. "But that results in low satisfaction with your current standing," he added.

Happy nations

The results could explain why as national economies grow, average happiness levels haven't followed suit. "It's about having more than everyone else," Boyce said, "which is why our nations are not increasing in happiness on average."

Even if a nation's financial waistline bulges, that doesn't mean the individuals within that economy will become happier. There's only one guy at the top.

"Our study underlines concerns regarding the pursuit of economic growth. There are fixed amounts of rank in society - only one individual can be the highest earner," Boyce and his colleagues write in a recent online edition of the journal Psychological Science. "Thus, pursuing economic growth, although it remains a key political goal, might not make people any happier."

Boyce figures the study results can be explained by status, and all things associated with being "better than," including the best mates.

"Biologically, people are going to be more attracted to people at the top of the social hierarchy," Boyce told LiveScience.

Taken from Yahoo News:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20100319/sc_livescience/happinessismakingmoremoneythanthenextguy

Love is a seek and hide game

Love is a seek and hide game, isn’t it? Always the one is seeking and the other one is hiding to keep the game of love going on.

- First stage - Flirting

At first men seeks, woman hides. She spots her and start flirting. She’s pretending to be unapproachable to make the hunter put more efforts, but she gives him some hints to go on. He calls her, asks for dates and she says “May be”.

- Second stage – First night together

After having sex for a first time gave turns over, he seeks and she hides. He made a score and got her. She believed he likes her and gave him what he wanted. She wants the flirt become a relationship and he’s not sure about it.

- Third stage – Start of a relationship

He realizes she’s amazing, caring, understanding and a hot lover, so he’ll give her what she wants- commitment. He seeks, she hides. She’s tired making him commit and asks herself if he’s the right one, she’s looking around to see what else’s on market. He wants to impress her, to make her his girl.

- Fourth stage – Serious relationship

Relationship is granted for him. He get used having her and forgets to be romantic, caring, spending time with her. She’s trying to make relationship interesting, but he’s interested more in having beer with friends, watch football or just be busy. She seeks, he hides.

- Fifth stage – She leaves

She gets sick and tired to be the one who makes the relationship, to asks for his time and attention. So she leaves. Soon he realizes what he lost and wants her back. He gives promises, asks for forgiveness- he seeks, she hides. And the game starts over again!